The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."



"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"



"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.



"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works."



"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."



"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."



"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated: "Are you still talking?"



"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."



"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."

Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."



"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."



"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."



"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"



"I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."



"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."



"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."

Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."



"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

COMMENTS

-

---

PAGAN
14:40 Jul 30 2011

hahaha! Awesome!

---

POST COMMENT

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

COMMENTS

-

---

deringerdan
01:47 Jul 30 2011

well what happens if you press the right button do you get a beep?

---

KynthiaLucian
01:49 Jul 30 2011

hahaha, go ask VenusFire what happens when you press the right button, lol.

---

ProjectAlice
05:51 Jul 30 2011

That is so true! LOL

---

VenusFire
15:12 Nov 07 2021

Just stop

---

POST COMMENT

Elderly couple in church) Wife turns to husband and says "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

So I went hunting today, and saw a HUGE 10 pointer! I took one shot, then another...but by the time I got the cap back on the bottle the deer was gone!

COMMENTS

-

---

Sulks
16:41 Jul 25 2011

LOL!

---

KynthiaLucian
17:43 Jul 25 2011

at least I got a smile out of somebody today...giggles.

---

deringerdan
00:19 Jul 26 2011

while you was drunk he's now in my freezer ;)

---

POST COMMENT

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise

...and ran to save the two dead boys.

If you don't believe this lie is true,

ask the blind man, he saw it, too.

COMMENTS

-

---

LadyKrystalynDarkstar
20:08 Jul 24 2011

This is an old jump rope chant LOL I remember this!

---

POST COMMENT

OK.... i just have one request, could we take a break from telling people to go to hell? My house is getting crowded.

COMMENTS

-

---

deringerdan
14:17 Jul 24 2011

Live strong and allow things to go in one ear and out the other. sometimes its hard but usually it works out the best for both worlds..

---

POST COMMENT

Today's forecast: severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance this evening...

oh hell yea!!!!! 9/1/2011, I wanna go!!



http://rockstaruproar.com/city/virginiabeach/